Things Change
by unbrokenglass
Summary: After 5 years since Dean got rejected by his best friend leads to a artist life. -;-
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:**

**I do not own Supernatural -.-" this is my sisters fanfiction**

**_When I hear music, I fear no danger. I am invulnerable. I see no foe. I am related to the earliest times, and to the latest. -_**  
**_Henry David Thoreau_**

On one summer day in Lawrence Kansas 16 year old Dean Winchester the famous lady killer ever known walks towards his one best friend/neighbor. Scribbling down on his sheet of paper a pair of black boots catches his eyes "Dean nice of you to actually show up in time" he looks toward the teen grinning down on him. "Well damn Cas I thought you had more faith in me" Dean mummers slightly "Well anyway are you ready to go or what" he asked. _Today is the day that i'll_ _tell him_ Castiel thought while ignoring what Dean told him snapping out of his thought when a hand was waved in front of his face.

"Hey! Are you ready or what Cas " Dean asked with a slight annoyance in his voice "Um..Yes...Sorry Dean" Castiel replied. Getting off the porch Castiel fixed his pants Anna thought would look good on him, _why must they be so tight_ he thought. Putting on his tan trench coat he followed dean to his "baby" as dean would say "Why so gloomy Cas your always a happy camper when it came to school." dean stated as he stared at his friend who seem to be living in a dream world. "I'm fine dean just a bit tired" Castiel responded giving him a small smile to reassure his friend dean not buying it all just brushed it off and just enter into his "baby" starting the car. While Castiel adjusted his seat-belt he noticed Sam was no where to be seen "Where's Sam?" Dean glance at Castiel Damn those baby blues there so adorable and remembering the question he answered as cool as he could "Well you know Sammy always wanting to be early to school." "oh" Castiel let out as he turned to look out the window_ I wonder if could tell him_.

At school everyone smiled and waved at dean while dean showed one of his famous smiles that make girls flush. As to when Castiel walks down the halls of the school not many look his way unless he's with dean which he mostly does. School is what Castiel would like to say his domain walking towards his locker the one and only mayor of dickland as dean would announced to his other peers. Raphael the assbutt Castiel says walks over towards him "Whats up Faggot did you lose your sex toy today!" Raphael shouted causing everyone to look towards the commotion. Castiel being the most reasonable one replied "Don't you have anything else to do than annoy me with your lame accusations" closing his locker he storms out. The rest of the day Dean has been mentally freaking out _what if I tell him and he rejects me...What if he never wants to be my friend.. Pull yourself together Dammit your Dean Winchester every girls and guys dream!_ Gaining some courage he made out of last class ready to confess to Castiel. "I can do this and no matter what happens there will be no regret" he told himself waiting on the hood of the Impala Sam approaches dean "So your going to confess to Cas already dean?" he asked.

Dean blushed "W-What! how did you know" he stuttered Sam grinned "Its so obvious dean that you liked Cas and about time you told him" he laughed a bit. "Shut up Sammy aren't you late for you nerd class" dean said while calming himself down Sam giving him one of his bitchfaces " It's SAM not Sammy and its a student council meeting Dean" Dean smiled a bit "whatever Sammy... bitch" Sam rolled his eyes"whatever jerk" Dean watching his brother leave he took a breath "Damn was I that obvious" dean thought out loud "Dean are you alright" Castiel said while tilting his head a bit shocked dean turn to Castiel "uh.. Yeah Cas i'm fine" "well shall we go home Dean?" Castiel asked getting ready to enter the impala. "Wait!.." Dean shouted Castiel looked at dean "what is it dean?" he asked confused "uh..um well its um.. Cas i..damn.." dean said as he sigh and looked at Castiel "Cas I like you like really like you and not in that friendly kind of way.. but you in that boyfriend kind of way..do you understand what i'm trying to say here?" blue eyes widen_ what did he just say did he just say he like me_ not having anything to say only nodded. After what seem like hours of silence he spoke "So Castiel what do you say do you wanna go out with me?" Castiel looked down as he played with his fingers what can i say"um.. well" this wasn't suppose to happen "Dean i'm sorry but no"

Emerald eyes widen as he looked down a bit and laughed bitterly "Yeah I know this was stupid to even ask why am i such a dumbass" Castiel feeling guilty as he put a hand on deans leather jacket "No Dean your not stupid it's not you its complicated" "What's so complicated Castiel! Tell me! Please because I don't understand!" Dean shouted. Castiel eyes sting with tears waiting to fall "It's better off this way dean I'm sorry that i'm hurting you but I can't accept your feelings no matter how much i want to. So please Don't blame yourself Dean" Castiel looked into deans eyes as he ran away. Castiel ran through the blur vision that his tears created he didn't care if anyone saw making it to his house he started packing his suitcase. "Today was the day I was going to tell him im leaving" he stated as he laughed "then he goes and confesses to me why couldn't he do it sooner." Anna knocked on Castiel's door " Hey Castiel are you ready to go for tomorrow?" she asked "yes" he replied "Did you already talk to dean about it?" "yes" he said. "Alright well good night Castiel she said as she left "Good night" as he laid down to sleep.

Dean returned that day still shocked by what happened he enters the house and goes straight to his room and drowns himself with his metallic music. The next day Castiel never returned to school only to figure out that Castiel has moved making Dean wish he never told his best friends his true feelings. Grabbing his guitar he starts playing "Hey Jude" not knowing what the future has in store for them.

~5 Years later~ As he started tuning his guitar a man announces "Dean?" he looks up "yeah?" the man says" your up Dean" a smile appears "Great". Walking on stage hearing the screams of his fans the light hits him he takes hold of the microphone "Hello i'm Dean lets get this party started" As he starts playing his guitar not noticing the bright blues eyes looking at him...

To Be Continued

**Author Notes:**

**Please no flames o.o -.-**


	2. Chapter 2

**_Disclaimer:I DO NOT OWN Supernatural or the music that was mention here. Lost in the echo Belongs to Linkin Park and Gone Forever is By Three Days Grace ^.^ _**

**_I need drama in my life to keep making music-_**  
**_Eminem_**

_~5 Years later~ As he started tuning his guitar a man announces "Dean?" he looks up "yeah?" the man says" your up Dean" a smile appears "Great". Walking on stage hearing the screams of his fans the light hits him he takes hold of the microphone "Hello im Dean lets get this party started" As he starts playing his guitar not noticing the bright blues eyes looking at him..._

After singing Lost In The Echo Dean looks out into the crowd "Whats up California!" he shouted while the whole crowd cheered. "This is a song for all you brokenhearted it's called gone forever" he moves away from mic as the music starts to play.

Grabbing the mic he starts to sing

_ "Don't know what's going on_

_ Don't know what went wrong_

_ Feels like a hundred years_

_ I still can't believe you're gone"_

He walks closer to the crowd

"_So, I'll stay up all night _

_With these bloodshot eyes _

_While these walls surround me _

_With the story of our life"_

He opens his eyes looking around all his cheering fans

_"I feel so much better_

_Now,that you're gone forever_

_ I tell myself that_

_ I don't Miss you at all_

_I'm not lying, denying_

_ That I feel so much better now _

_That you're gone forever"_

Noticing blue eyes following him and brushing it off he continues.

_"Now, things are coming clear _

_And I don't need you here _

_And in this world around me_

_ I'm glad you disappeared_

_So, I'll stay out all night_

_ Get drunk and fuck and fight _

_Until the morning comes_

_ I'll forget about our life_

_I feel so much better Now,_

_ that you're gone forever_

_ I tell myself that I don't Miss you at all_

_I'm not lying, denying _

_That I feel so much better now _

_That you're gone forever"_

Bending down to grabs the hands of his adoring fans and loving their smiles he goes back to the other side of the stage.

_"First time you screamed at me_

_ I should have made you leave_

_ I should have known _

_It could be so much better_

_I hope you're missing me_

_ I hope I've made you see _

_That I'm gone forever"_

The blue eyed stranger come as close as he can to see Dean. While Dean finally turns his way...

_"And now, it's coming clear _

_That I don't need you here _

_And in this world around me_

_ I'm glad you disappeared_

_I feel so much better_

_ Now, that you're gone forever_

_ I tell myself that_

_ I don't Miss you at all_

_I'm not lying, denying _

_That I feel so much better now _

_That you're gone forever"_

Dean eyes widen when both blue and green eyes meet as dean thinks _**NO WAY ..it cant be.**._

_"And now, you're gone forever_

_ And now, you're gone forever"_

_**Castiel..**._

_**To Be Continued... Eventually...Maybe...o.o**_


	3. Chapter 3 Who are you?

_**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN Supernatural t(-.-)t**_

_**Music expresses that which cannot be said and on which it is impossible to be silent. Victor Hugo**_

The music stops Dean mind cant process what he has just seen _No Way IN HELL! That was not Castiel_ he thought_ It Can't Be why would he be here_. He Grabs his mic "Thank You California for letting me play for you. You were Fucking Great" he says as he walks off stage while all of the equipment is being taken off. Finally able to leave he goes to the bus just to be greeted by his younger brother Sam who grew like Abraham Lincoln. "Hey Dean how was your show?" he asked "great Sammy how was your day with Ben?" he asked Sam while he started undressing himself. "Hes fine he crawling faster than most young 1 year old " Sam replied Dean just smiled " Damn Right he is Faster than most babies hes a Winchester!" dean stated "So where is he then Sam?" Sam replied "in the bed sleeping like any baby would" Dean just laughed a bit as he put a muscle shirt on and some shorts "Well then im off to join him"

Just as Dean was about to head towards Ben Sam stop him "Wait Dean!" he shouted but not to loud. Dean looked at Sams direction "what is it Sammy " he asked while looking at his younger brother "Um.. well you know how im going out with Gabriel..right"Sam said .Now in a Big brother mode when Dean heard Sams boyfriend name "What happened Sammy did that Motherfucker do something to you Cause I SWEAR I WOULD-" Dean was cut off by Sam "What no Dean Gabriel didn't do anything to me its just its almost Christmas in a few weeks..and I mean me and Gabriel were thinking..." "Spit it out Sammy!" Dean said raising his voice to Sams blabbering Sam sighs as he speaks again "We're wondering if you could join us for Christmas . you be with the family and Bobby will be there and bit would be great for ben to have a great Christmas" Sam stated.

Dean sighs, Sams right it would be great for Ben Damn my Little smart brother as he grunts "Fine I'll go I have my holiday vacation anyway. " Sam smile grows bigger as he hears those words come out of his brothers mouth "Great! This Christmas is going to be great" he exclaimed. Dean smiled at how Sam can act like such a child "So are we going over to Gabriel's home in Florida?" he asked. Sam's smile got smaller "Well no.. well its in our hometown Dean." Sam said though a bit slower cautious of Deans reaction "You mean in Kansas?" dean asked while Sam only nodded "Alright".

Sam eyes widen "Alright? Dean are you feeling alright?" he question while Dean just sigh, at how girly hes brother is acting "Yes im fine now stop your bitching Sam I'm tired and im going to sleep g'night" he said while walking off to where Ben was sleeping. Sam just stared as his brother walking away "goodnight i guess" as just when he was just outside of the bus a figure tackles him "Samsquatch I've missed you" the stranger yelled.

Not caring for the pain Sam felt when he hit the cement he looks up the figure that attacked him. He had golden like hair but not to long or short and almost caramel eyes. The stranger gets off Sam and stretches out his hand to Sam "Come on Sam get off your butt and greet me" he said with the most cunning grin. "Gabriel" sam said making the figure look up at him " what did i tell you about eating chocolate while we are on the road" Sam looked down at the figure that started pouting "aw come on you know i can't live without my baby its what makes me awesome" Gabriel stated with a wide grin. Sam chuckled "sure your awesome Gabriel" as he leaned down a gave a quick kiss while Gabriel flushed a bit "yeah you better know it Sam!"

Gabriel looked around "Oh yeah Sam i would like you to meet my cousins" he said while calling over two figures that were waiting near the road. Just as the two figures walked over to them did Sam noticed something about the man with skinny jeans and a black long sleeve shirt. _He looks familiar_ Sam thought Gabriel being the loud mouth shouted out "Well Sam this is my cousin Balthazar and Cassie". "My name is not Cassie Gabriel i would like you to refrain from using it" the guy who was shorter than Balthazar said with a bit of annoyance in his voice. The man looked at Sam that Sam thought the guy was looking into his soul with those piercing blue eyes _Wait blue eyes.._ Sam thought. "Hello Sam my name is Castiel Novak its nice to meet you." Castiel said with a small smile. "What! Castiel Oh my God its you! When did you get here? Does Dean know...Crap Dean" Sam said a little bit fast "Woah breathe there babe" Gabriel said while holding sam's hand. Castiel tilted his head a bit before speaking "I'm sorry but do I know you from somewhere " he looked at Sam "It's me Sam Winchester we used to be Neighbors in Kansas you were best friends with my brother Dean Winchester" Sam told him hoping that Castiel will remember.

_Winchester.. sounds familiar but from where_ Castiel questioned himself until it finally hit him. _I remember now i used to live near them their family was great Sam was smaller and Dean... Dean he was my friend.. though i thought of him more than that... What happened between us?_ he thought while remembering the first time he ever met Sam and Dean.

Flashback -

It has been a month since Castiel has moved to Lawrence Kansas it was a sunny day and Castiel thought it would be great day to read outside. Grabbing one of his favorite books he goes outside to the swing and silently reads that is until he hears someone shout "Ready or not here I come" said a voice from across the fence. Castiel was about to return to his reading until he saw a boy crawl from under a hole that was in the fence just as Castiel was about to ask him what he was doing the boy looked at him. Castiel was memorized by those green eyes "Hey can i hide here for a bit" the boy asked. Castiel taking in the green eyes and the freckles on the boys face he just nodded when he sees another boy come shortly after he was very small maybe his younger brother or cousin he thought. The little boy had the same eyes the other boy though he didn't have blondish hair but a good light brown hair.

"Hey did you see a guy who is this tall" he asked while showing with his hand in the air Castiel chuckled at this as he just shakes his head no. "Oh" the small boy said " Well hi my name Is SAM like S-A-M not Sammy and im 6 so what are you reading" he asked while pointing at book in Castiel's hand. Castiel looked down at his book "well its called lightning thief and hello Sam im Castiel and im 11 for now". Sam smiled "Dats the same age as my big brother dean hes 11 too" he said so proudly. "Sammy your suppose to find me not talk to the neighbor"Dean said while looking at the boy that his brother openly talk to. Woah this kid has the most bluest eyes I have ever seen he thought while looking him. "Sowwy Dean its just he has a awesome book" he told dean while he looked at Castiel " Can i pwease borrow it Castiel" he asked while giving him his best puppy eyes.

Castiel just stared back at the Sam bewildered and gave in to his eyes "Well I see no reason why I shouldn't lend you my book we are neighbors so yes you can borrow my book Sam" he replied as Sam jumped up with glee and gave Castiel a quick hug. Castiel eyes widen by the action of affection as dean stared at the boy with ruffled hair and wearing a mini trench coat "Hi im Dean and Cas-ti-er uh cas-diel you know what im calling you Cas he said with a smirk Castiel looked a him "why would you give me a nickname Dean?" he as while tilting his head slightly.

Dean just laugh at the question as he put a hand on Castiel's arm "Aw man you funny and were friends aren't we Cas" he said as he grinned. Friend Castiel thought "Yes Dean were Friends" as he gave Dean a rare smile he only showed to his cousins.

End of Flashback -

Snapping back to reality Castiel sees both Gabriel and Balthazar fighting over something a laughing Sam._ I remember now I wonder were dean is...I can't wait to see him again _Castiel thought as a small smile played on his lips. _Seems he doesn't remember what had happened between him and dean_ Sam thought as he saw Castiel smiling to himself _well Ignorance is bliss_ Sam said to himself. He then turn to the bus that his brother was in not knowing his lost love was just outside..


	4. Chapter 4 What's left

**_Disclaimer:I DO NOT own Supernatural or the songs from linkin park or secondhand serenade_**

Music is well said to be the speech of angels. -Thomas Carlyle Dean was going to stay in California for two days now that a day passed Castiel thought it would be a great idea to hear some songs that Dean has made. Eager to make it to the hotel he told Balthazar he would drive and he could relax in the backseat. As he reached the hotel he woke Balthazar up though it took some glares and blackmail to get his lazy bum up. As Balthazar left to his own room yes this hotel had two bedrooms Castiel went to his own room and pulled out his laptop. As the window came on screen he went to Google to search the biography on Dean (Castiel just wanted to know what occurred to dean when he left). While it was loading Castiel thought it would be a good time to change of his concert clothes as Balthazar would say into some simple sweatpants and a white t-shirt.

As he went to brush his teeth Castiel brought his laptop to his bed and laid down. Reading the biography Castiel found out many things he never knew about dean. Castiel couldn't believe that his first album was as the witter wrote 'heart breaking enough that the angels would cry'. He also found out that most of the time Dean would like to just work on his music or hang out with his brother. Reading this biography made him feel bad for not being there for throughout those years when his parents died or when he was married.

He couldn't believe he has never known about dean being a artist the whole time until Balthazar and Gabriel were talking about how good his music was. Of course Gabriel only cared about the artist younger brother Sam That's when it hit him that he never heard any song dean wrote only the ones today so he made up his mind to hear all songs that were ever made by Dean.

So Castiel got into You-Tube and plug in his earphones so he wouldn't bother Balthazar as he picked a random video called "Pieces" which he enjoyed very much. Time has passed and he has heard almost 30 songs which Castiel were party serious and funny. Though looking for another song one title caught his eye 'maybe' "hmm this sounds interesting" Castiel thought aloud. As he played the video Castiel waiting it to stop buffering to freaking play.

_"Didn't you want to hear the sound of all the places we could go Do you fear the expressions on the faces we don't know It's a cold hard road when you wake up and I don't think that I Have the strength to let you go"_

Castiel was in awe of how beautiful deans voice was as he started remembering of the last time he saw Dean

_"Maybe it's just me, Couldn't you believe that everything I said and did, wasn't just deceiving And the tear in your eye, and your calm hard face makes me wish that I was never brought into this place "_

As the memory came back to him of looking at dean after he has rejected him.

_"There goes my ring It might as well have been shattered and I'm here to sing about the things that mattered about the things that made us feel alive for oh so long about the things that kept you on my side when I was wrong_"

The moment he saw how Deans eyes look so lifeless as he said he was fine. Castiel shakes his head as if it could stop the memory coming back again.

_"Maybe it's just me, Couldn't you believe that everything I said and did, wasn't just deceiving And the tear in your eye, and your calm hard face makes me wish that I was never brought into this place"_

He remembers the time when he ran with it seem he lost his friend that he loved so deeply.

_"And someday, I promise I'll be gone And someday, I might even sing this song To you, I might even sing this song, to you and I was crying alone tonight and I was wasting all of my life just thinking of you So just come back we'll make it better So Just come back I'll make it better than it ever was 2x"_

Not noticing the tears that were forming in his eyes when he remember of the good times with dean.

_"Maybe it's just me, Couldn't you believe that everything I said and did, wasn't just deceiving And the tear in your eye, and your calm hard face makes me wish that I was never brought into this place"_

Castiel couldn't see anymore from the tears he was trying to hold back

_"Maybe it's just me, Couldn't you believe that everything I said and did, wasn't just deceiving And the tear in your eye, and your calm hard face makes me wish that I was never brought into this place ( I want it all, Don't leave right now) (I'll give you everything)"_

Now that the song has ended Castiel couldn't help but to let the tears fall as he closed his laptop putting it on the nightstand. Simple tears turn to sobs as he tried to wipe the tears that were flowing so freely as he let his head fall into his hands. "Castiel.." Castiel looked up as Balthazar was standing in the doorway. I forgot to close the door Castiel thought as Balthazar came closer to him "Whats wrong Castiel hearing those words Castiel couldn't help but just cry more as he tried to respond his cousin "I..I.. It's my fault...he.. me...and i-i re-rejected him"Castiel said as he grabs Balthazar shirt.

Balthazar what confused of what his cousin was talking about but whatever it was must of been bad if he's crying this bad. "Who are you talking about? who confessed to you?" he asked as he soothed Castiel by rubbing circles on his back. Castiel looked up at him with tear filled eyes "D-Dean" Balthazar didn't understand how could Dean confess to him if they never met today "When did he confessed to you?" he asked while Castiel rubbed his eyes "5 years ago and i-i rejected him even tough i d-didn't want to im such a bad person i-i broke my first crush h-heart-" he shouted as he started to cry more " im such a heartless bastard! I don't deserve any love or compassion" Castiel said with a pain expression on his face.

Balthazar eyes widen hearing the words coming out of his cousin "Castiel your not a bastard or heartless alright why don't you tell me everything alright" he said with a small smile. Castiel only nodded as he began to tell him about that faithful day...

To be continue...


	5. Chapter 5 Welcome?

_**Disclaimer:I DO NOT OWN Supernatural t(-.-)t The song Good Riddance is own by Green Day**_

_**One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain. Bob Marley**_

_"5 years ago and i-i rejected him even tough i d-didn't want to im such a bad person i-i broke my first crush h-heart-" he shouted as he started to cry more " im such a heartless bastard! I don't deserve any love or compassion" Castiel said with a pain expression on his face._

_Balthazar eyes widen hearing the words coming out of his cousin "Castiel your not a bastard or heartless alright why don't you tell me everything alright" he said with a small smile. Castiel only nodded as he began to tell him about that faithful day..._

Castiel looks up at Balthazar with swollen eyes "I have always loved ..Dean" Balthazar only nods as if encouraging him to continue Castiel sighs "I never thought of him ever liking me you know a jock and a shy geek like me falling in love with each other is something that only happens in movies or stories never reality" he gets up "Never in my life would i ever think of him actually feeling the same towards me...it was absurd." Castiel looks at Balthazar "So it never occurred to me of Deans feelings though on the last day in Kansas It was my goal to tell him i was leaving...Well before i was going to confess to him. I had it all planned in my head so i knew that dean would throw a fit for just telling him just then and there that i was leaving that day to New York but i knew he would understand and we would spend the day together and that's before i confess to him and if he rejected me i would be at peace though it would hurt. Though being me nothing never goes according to plan and he confesses to me which i was glad i just wanted to kiss him...but what then whats the probability of me and him doing a long relationship actually working a one in a million. That's when I made that rash decision and reject him and never tell him of what would happen that night. I couldn't believe I broke him that much Dean Winchester crying over me its CRAZY! I took everything i broke his heart and then I made the man I love Look as if he went to hell and is filled with so much hate and pain..a broken soul that i can't heal"'

Castiel felt better as he felt his guilt get lifted off his chest he wanted to smile for the light weight feeling. Balthazar was in shocked as he processed everything he has just heard. Finally getting hold of his mentality he looked up at his cousin _how could he even been so calm all this time_ Balthazar thought as he began to speak "Castiel I know you feel as this is all your fault Do you really feel that he is depress he is a big boy Cassie and he might of got over it already." Castiel stiffen as he looked over to his cousin sitting on his bed "How would YOU know you Don't know if he does. YOU don't know anything at All" Castiel shouted while Balthazar stood up "Well then why don't you ask him then Castiel" Balthazar stated with a bit of venom in his voice. Castiel looked away just the thought of seeing dean again made his stomach turn "I can't." he replied "You can't or you just don't want to" Balthazar question his eyeing him carefully "Either way.. how would i be able to meet him if i don't know where he is" Castiel said as he sent Balthazar a glare.

"Thats why you have a lucky cousin who is going out with His brother" Balthazar said with a small smirk "Anyway i bet Sam would let a old friend of deans in to see him" Castiel just stared at Balthazar with a hint of fear in his eyes and with that Balthazar was out of the room only to stop midway as he spoke "We'll go after the concert tomorrow so get some rest Cassie" Balthazar just closed the door while Castiel couldn't comprehend what just occurred_ im so screwed_ Castiel mumbled as he went to sleep.

~le next day con e Dean Winchester~

`"Alright I want this show to be great so everybody let's do a great job and let's get this rolling" Dean shouted as the crew got ready to work he walked towards Sam who was holding Ben "How's my big boy today " dean said as he poked Ben's stomach as the baby replied with a giggle Dean just smiled at how much his son has grown. "Well im off Sammy take car of my son " dean stated as he started walking off "Dean wait i need to ask you something" Sam said loud enough for dean to turned his attention to Sam "What is it now Sam i need to practice" "Well some of our old friends wanna meet you after the concert do you think we can hang out" Sam asked "Who will take care Ben " Dean asked as he was very curious what friend wanted to come to meet him than make him sign autographs. "jo" Sam relied quickly as dean put his hand on his chin as to look as if he was actually thinking "Sure why the hell not" he said with a smile as he walked off. "alright ..hope this doesn't go bad" Sam sighed as he took off to go change Ben's diaper.

~at le concert~

Dean looks above the crowd "California this is my last day here but im not leaving until i give you one hell of a show " the crowd went wild chanting deans name. "To end this wonderful concert I hope you had the time of your life" Dean said as the crowd screamed he teases the crowd by playing only a bit on the guitar then stoping repeating it until his crowd screams louder. Dean smiles to himself as he starts playing and begins to sing.

_"Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go So make the best of this test, and don't ask why It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time_

_It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right._  
_I hope you had the time of your life._

_So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial For what it's worth it was worth all the while_

_It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right. I hope you had the time of your life._

_It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right. I hope you had the time of your life._

_It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right. I hope you had the time of your life."_

Dean stops as he stares into the crowd "Thank you Bakersfield" as he walks off stage. He walks to his bus and sees some people in there _oh right my friends are stopping by_ he said to himself_ well here goes nothing_. As he opens the door he sees a mouthful of candy in Gabriel mouth and Balthazar using his TV and Sam sitting near Gabriel. "Well hey guys whats up?" he asked as casually as he can "nothing much you know just chilling you dean" asked Balthazar never moving his eye from the TV. "Im good you guys enjoy the show" he asked as he noticed the wristband on both Balthazar's and Gabriel's wrist "Was a badass show dean " said Balthazar and Gabriel in unison.

"Oh - Dean was cut off by the door opening behind him and the gruff voice which seem so familiar to him "I do not understand why you would want me to buy more liquor if you already have enough to drug us all" said the voice. Dean noticing the voice turn around slowly as if it would disappear like a ghost but no.. a man with a trench coat wearing black skinny jeans and a plaid shirt stood before dean. Dean wanted to say so many thing but it would't come out so he just said one word "Castiel". The man looked up to him and smiled a bit "Hello Dean"

TO be. Continued


	6. Chapter 6 Given up

_****_**Disclaimer : I DO NO OWN Supernatural t(-.-)t**

_**After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music. Aldous Huxley**_

_**Dean wanted to say so many thing but it would't come out so he just said one word "Castiel". The man looked up to him and smiled a bit "Hello Dean"**_

It seem as if everything went silent as both men look at each other the tension was building in the atmosphere. Emerald eyes widen with a hint of anger and joy while the blue eyes showed guilt and shame. Sam couldn't handle it anymore so he broke the silence "Thanks Castiel its just some of us don't get buzzed as easily anymore" he said his voice cracking a bit. Castiel gaze falls to look at Sam "oh I see well here you go" he said as he handed the bags that contained the liquor to Sam "Yeah here want one Ca-" Sam was cut off by dean "What the Hell is Happening here Sam" he shouted a bit and sent a deadly glare in Sam direction.

Sam knew this was going to be big mess though he never thought Dean can act so calm. When Sam was told that Castiel was going to be coming as well to meet dean after his concert he knew it's going to be troublesome. Yet again he wanted Dean to stop sulking about Castiel for years now so might as well bring the man to the gathering he was still his friend and dean just has to suck it up. "What Dean Its just a gathering of our friends that we haven't seen in awhile" Sam replied as he sat and opened a beer.

Dean wanted to yell to Sam why Castiel the person that rejected him and one he held dear to was sitting in the couch drinking his beer next to Gabriel. Though he did agree that Sam could bring their friends over he never expected that Castiel was going to be here for all he knew Castiel was dead to him in some mysterious way. He gritted his teeth as he tried to calm himself down though his attention was to the man Castiel who spoke " Dean if it is to uncomfortable for you that I am here I can leave" and as much as Dean wanted to say yeah go he couldn't. Castiel big porcelain eyes was something Dean has missed for awhile and he couldn't tell him to leave Castiel was also Sam's friend and it's not like Cas was only his. Dean gave up being anguished and open a beer and took a seat next to Balthazar "It's fine Castiel you can stay im just tired after the show" he said as he gave him the best smile he could muster up.

After a few drinks later the tension in the room was broken with drunken laughter and childish games in which Gabriel suggested. Dean was getting comfortable with Cas sitting near him as they both looked at each other they couldn't help but smile to each-other Balthazar noticed this as a evil smirked played on his lips "None of this Sissy games let's play some Dare or Double Dare" he said not waiting for a response he looked at Sam "Sam Dare or Double Dare"he asked Sam looked at him for a bit before he answered "Dare" Balthazar smiled "I dare you to act as if you were in love with me" he said while Sam eyes widen "What! No Way!" "Either do it or take off your shirt in front of me " Balthazar said with a smirk. Sam not wanting to act in love with his boyfriends cousin sighed as he took off his shirt while Gabriel and Balthazar clapped and whistled when he did it. After everyone went their turn Gabriel has to eat a handful of Carrots Dean has to sing in a girl voice while Cas had to sit on sam's lap and that was awkward.

Things were getting intense and Balthazar being that sneaky bastard he is looked at his cousin who was sitting o n Sam's lap. "Castiel Dare or Double Dare" he said "Dare Balthazar" with that Balthazar smiled liked the Grinch "I dare you to French kiss dean for 5 minutes" he said while he laughed at how Castiel's eyes got so wide with a petrified face. "What Balthazar i can't do that" he said as he looked at Dean "Either do it or you'll have to do it for 10 minutes" Balthazar calmly as he shrugged "So which one is it Castiel" Castiel thought about it a bit as he gulped down and looked at Dean who had a arched eyebrow "5 minutes" he said. Balthazar wanted to jump up in the air for Castiel actually accepting but instead spoke "Alright go get him tiger" as he patted Castiel's back and pushed him to dean.

Dean heard the dare that Castiel got and was ready to see Castiel run out of the bus but was a bit shocked when he stayed and agreed at doing it. When he Castiel coming near him dean leaned a bit closer till their noses brushed and they could feel each other breathe. "Castiel you don't have to do this if you don't want to" Dean said in low voice "It's Cas..and i want to" Cas said. Dean was shocked with and wanted to interject with a question that is before Cas pushed his lips onto deans. Dean had to admit that Castiel's lips were as soft as a angle Dean kissed back with so eagerly as he bit Cas bottom lip earning a moan from Cas. He felt Castiels arms around his neck as Cas tongue brushed his teeth moaning for entrance Dean let him in as their tongues were in a fight for Dominance. Dean never wanted this to end as he made Cas sit on his lap never breaking away from kissing. Dean never wanted to let Cas go though eventually Castiel broke the kiss when he heard Balthazar tell him 5 minutes passed.

Castiel couldn't believe he just kissed Dean he looked at how dean still had his arms wrapped around his waist and his lips were swollen a bit. Thinking the only reason he got away for doing this was because they were drinking Cas didn't want to believe it was because of this but reluctantly he did. Everything was in a awkward silence until we heard a knock on the door. Sam got up and open it to reveal Jo holding Ben in her arms asleep "Hey guys sorry to butt in but the lil guy wants to sleep already" she said as she handed over Ben to Sam "It's fine Jo thanks for watching him" he smiled as he was holding his nephew. "No prob well laters" she said as she walked off Sam closed the door and turned back to the guys.

Seeing his son Dean immediately stood up and took hold of Ben "Aw my lil boy sleeping already" he whispered as he kissed Ben's temple. Dean walked to a door in the bus near the restroom leaving Cas in shocked seeing Dean had a son. There were so many things that were going on in Cas mind that were interrupted by Dean returning rubbing his neck slightly "Sorry guys but now that Ben is sleeping might as well hit the hay too" he told everyone but was only looking at Cas.

Everyone left that night saying their goodbyes and hugs but when it was deans turn with Cas they just stared at each other It seem as time froze in that moment for when Cas looked at dean he didn't even notice he was holding his breathe until dean said "Goodbye Castiel" Castiel knew that kiss meant noting to dean and dean might still be hurt for what happened those years ago he knew dean wouldn't call him Cas even if it was their only hope for survival. The reason was because Cas came in terms that Dean will never call him Cas until he was forgiven or even better off dead. So when Castiel looked up at Dean he gave him the best smile he could muster up before the mask to break "Goodbye Dean" he said in his gruff voice. He turned to walk away knowing nothing would be said after those words it pained Cas to admit it that he lost his friend long before they ever met.

To Be Continued..

**Don't hate me on the kissing part im still innocent i ain't going to smutt anytime soon =.= well for now ^.~**


	7. Chapter 7 Memories

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN Supernatural t(-.-)t the songs Radio is owned by He Is We and Cure My Tragedy(Letter to God) is own by Cold.**

**Music in the soul can be heard by the universe. Lao Tzu**

** -**  
_He turned to walk away knowing nothing would be said after those words it pained Cas to admit it that he lost his friend long before they ever met._  
-

Dean awoke by the screams of Ben as he rubbed his eye and went towards his son "Damn Ben.. do you enjoy to wake your father when he barely goes to sleep" he whispered as he ready a bottle for Ben. As he gave his son his bottle the baby instantly fell asleep in his crib again. Dean leaned down and kissed his temple and went to bed.

~Le Morning~

Dean woke up with a bright light shining through the window he got off his bed with a bad headache he sighed walking off to the bathroom. He wet his face and dried himself with a towel as he started with his usual routine taking a shower brushing his teeth. Changing into some pants and a t-shirt he went to the kitchen and made himself a coffee. As he sat at the small booth in the kitchen area as he began to think back of what occurred last night.

Dean was still in shock that Castiel was here how much he missed him and too see him pained him to much. Everything that has happened between him was still unreal in his mind that moment when Castiel's chapped lips pressed against his it felt as he was in paradise. He looked at his watch and cursed "Dammit I'm late" he pushed his thoughts to the side as he called Sam.

Their conversation was with simple "okay" and "yeah" and some "bitch" or "jerk". Just as dean was going to leave he see's the calendar on the cabinet courtesy of Sam always getting bitchy when he didn't know what day it was. Then that was the moment that Dean was holding his breathe on December 16 it read. He looked it with so much sorrow written across his face not noticing Sam entering the bus he turned to see Sam who was talking but didn't hear a word but only muttered "Powerless". Sam eyes widen at his brothers word and knew what he was talking about he sat Dean down as he told him of reassurance and walked to Ben and took him in his arms. Sam didn't like to leave his brother in this condition but he knew dean wouldn't do anything reckless.  
-Dean's POV-

I've Ben through this day before but it still hurt how much I missed her. December 16, 2008 Lisa Winchester died in a car accident and it was all my fault I could of prevented it but we fought that night and she stormed out she didn't take the car but went across the street. I was yelling at her to come back home and that's when she stopped in the middle of the road and yelled. Bright lights hit her beautiful face I saw the the 18-wheeler not stopping even though the lights went red. I couldn't move from my spot on the porch I saw that she turn and beginning to run that when my legs finally started to move and i ran as hard as i could to her. Though i was to late i screamed her name when the 18-wheeler collided with her body i heard her scream my name as i reached her body i felt her heartbeat beating slowly. I fell to my knees as i grabbed her and pulled her closely tears fell down my face as she faintly told me "Finally.. . cry" she smiled at me "Take care of Ben ..Dean...i.. you" with that her eyes closed. I stared at her "i love you to Lisa i love you too" i told her my vision became blurry as the tears fell. I heard the sirens the cops asked me questions and i answered them Sam came near me with Ben in his arms.

I was covered with blood of my precious Lisa as i held Ben in my arms the baby in my arms smiled at me. Tears fell on his face as i tried to wipe them away i could tell that he also knew that his mom would never come back again as he started to cry. I soothed him as i started to sing hey Jude while trying not to cry once i saw he was calmed down i kissed his cheek "It's okay daddy's here and i won't let anyone hurt you" i told him.

Just wanting to hear her voice i went and played a song she made about me when we were dating. I remember the song so well i told her she wouldn't be able to make me shed a tear at all she was always so lively she dedicated a song named Radio. Both of us being artist gave us a reason to make songs to one another it was childish but we enjoyed it. As the song started to play i felt a bit happy hearing her voice.

_"He grew up just a little too fast,_  
_Lost the need it s all in his past._  
_I can hear him humming, from the other side of the room._  
_Guess he s got rhythm, cause he hums everytime he s blue."_

i fetch myself a beer as i laid back hearing her sing.

_"Oh._  
_Radio,_  
_Bleed me a melody._  
_That ll make this boy cry,_  
_Oh, oh, oh._  
_Radio,_  
_Bleed me a melody._  
_That ll make him wonder why,_  
_He was so cold."_

I thought of how she finally made me cry but never got the time to rub it in my face.

_"Broken glass and a pretty face,_  
_Silent mourn full of hate._  
_Quiet face,_  
_Silent mourn._  
_Screaming for consequence,_  
_Bleeding for more."_

I put my arm over my eyes as i remeber her smiles and the way she would lit up everytime i called her mine.

_"Radio,_  
_Bleed me a melody,_  
_That ll make this boy cry._  
_Oh, oh, oh._  
_Radio,_  
_Bleed me a melody._  
_That ll make him wonder why,_  
_He was so cold."_

Holding back my tears i drink some more beer.

_"Play him a song,_  
_That reminds him of a time._  
_When he wasn t tumbling, down, down._  
_Tumbling down."_

I put my hands to my head as i try to clear my head.

_"Radio,_  
_Bleed me a melody._  
_That ll make this boy cry,_  
_Oh, oh, oh._  
_Radio,_  
_Bleed me a melody._  
_That ll make him wonder why,_  
_He was so cold."_

I finally let go of holding back and let the tears flow down my face.

_"Radio, Radio._  
_Radio, (Radio)._  
_Bleed me a melody._  
_Radio, Radio._  
_Bleed me a melody._  
_Radio,_  
_That boy s got rhythm, cause he hums everytime he s blue._  
_Radio, Radio."_

I get up wipe my tears as i look up "Sorry lisa" and with that i walk out of my bus and put a smile on my face.

-End of Deans POV-

Dean walked up on the stage for the last time before they have to leave the manager of the stage let him play a song if he wanted. Dean enjoyed the offer and accepted as he started to play a song no one has ever heard though the band finally got the beat of it. Sam who was in the backstage heard the music and saw the only light on the stage was pointed at dean. Everything was dark that Sam wondered what dean was doing so he sat far from deans view and waited. Sam as well never heard this beat and didn't know if dean made a new song without him telling him so there he waited.

Sam seem to forget that he brought Gabriel and Castiel with him he seem very focused on dean at the time. Castiel and Gabriel farther from Sam and waited to what dean was going to do. Finally seeing dean was starting to sing Castiel just stared at the dean and noticed the sadness in his eyes.

_"Remember all the times that we used to play? _

_You were lost and I would save you _

_I don't think those feelings will ever fade_

_ You were born a part of me _

_I was never good at hiding anything_

_ My thoughts break me _

_Do you understand what you mean to me?_

_ You are my faith"_

Castiel was mesmerized by the tone of deans voice as he sang sam felt the same way never has he heard dean so..broken.

_"Won't you cure my tragedy? [x2]_  
_Don't take her smile away from me _

_She's broken and I'm far away _

_Won't you cure my tragedy? [x2]_  
_if you make the world a stage for me_

_ then I hope that you can hear me scream_

_ Won't you cure my tragedy? "_

Everyone who was in the building at the time started sitting down hearing a song that wasn't heard before.

_"When I sit and think of the days we shared_

_ and the nights you covered for me _

_Every little thing that I ever did _

_You would stand by me_

_ Everytime you cried it would take my wind _

_My heart would break _

_If I could be strong like you were for me_

_ You are my faith "_

Dean looke up as he looked as if was pointless and shook his head.

_"Won't you cure my tragedy? [x2]_  
_Don't take her smile away from me _

_She's broken and I'm far away _

_Won't you cure my tragedy? [x2]_  
_if you make the world a stage for me_

_ then I hope that you can hear me scream_

_ Won't you cure my tragedy? "_

"_Can you hear me scream? [x2]"_

_"Won't you cure my tragedy? [x2]_  
_Don't take her smile away from me_

_She's broken and I'm far away_

_ Won't you cure my tragedy? [x2]_

_if you make the world a stage for me _

_then I hope that you can hear me scream _

_Won't you cure my tragedy? "_

Everyone felt as though someone has passed away for they were blown with dean Castiel noted some were tearing up.

_"I can't take this anymore_

_ I can't feel this anymore _

_Won't you take and give her pain to me _

_'Cause my whole life I've made mistakes _

_Can you hear me scream? [x2]"_

Once all the music stopped dean heard the noise of clapping he saw the main lights of the audience side start to light up as he saw people wiping their eyes with smiles on their faces. Dean turned to them all and notice that Sam as well was wiping tears from his eyes what caught his attention was Castiels face. Castiel gave him a small smile as he saw tears fall from his eyes Gabriel next to him looked at if he was trying to hold back tears but failed when Sam took hold of him. That's when dean felt that he still loved Castiel and wants him next to him for the rest of his life.

**To Be Continued ...Maybe**

**A/N: When dean said powerless was meant of when dean made a song named powerless dedicated on himself on what happened to lisa though Powerless is own by Linkin Park. So yeah just to clear that up. ^^**


End file.
